Feren (feren) wrote,

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A message for Erin...

I don't know if you're reading my journal or not; frankly, I don't even care. I wouldn't be surprised if you've been lurking around it for the last few days now because I'm a friend of Kestral and Roho. I know something, lady: even if you aren't reading my journal, I know that you've been playing little games and trying to play both sides against the middle. I know that you don't even realize that everyone else here knows what you've been trying to do. That's right, everyone -- even people that aren't actively engaged in the LiveJournal community. It's a pity you don't know how transparent your actions really are, how your patronizing facade is stripped away by the truth and the real motivations of greed, anger and self-importance is laid bare for the entire world to see. If this makes you cry, good. You deserve to be dressed down for the things you've done. Maybe it'll even knock some common sense into you. Roho may be upset by what I'm going to say here, but I'm going to say it anyway. This needs to be said, and I make no apologies for it.

Erin, I know more than you might think. I have, in fact, known things for quite some time.

For example, I know that you've been reading Kes's journal, and even had the audacity to post in it. I wonder how it felt, posting in the journal of the woman you suspected of being your ex-boyfriend's new girl. How did it feel, posting such sweet, flattering words but at the same time thinking such poisonous thoughts? Was it everything you expected? Did it give you a cheap little thrill, and leave you feeling like you'd struck a blow?

I know that you're no lady. Ladies have more self-respect than you, and would never act in such a manner.

I know that you've been reading Roho's journal, and used what he wrote in there to try and build yourself a little platform of righteous wrath to stand upon when you posted in Lanakila's journal. I saw what you wrote. You should be ashamed of yourself, using Lanakila like that to strike out at Roho. You claim to be so sensitive and caring, yet you say things like that, and deliberately say it in a place that you know he'll find it sooner or later. You're a manipulative, scheming two-faced bitch.

I know that you've been harassing my best friend for months now in e-mail and on the phone, making calls to his apartment at all hours of the day and night (I've been there and heard you leaving messages). I know what it's done to him, how the games you've played have hurt him. But that's what you've wanted all along, isn't it? You've wanted to hurt him, to damage him and strike back, to deliver retribution for how you felt you'd been hurt. You wanted to guilt-trip him for having the courage and common sense to leave you after all the abuse you've put him through.

I know you wanted to use every last inch of slack he paid out to you out of his good will. You wanted to suck him completely dry of love until he couldn't ever love again, just so you could know you'd had your revenge. Why do you think he continued to speak with you, to try and be your friend? Why do you supposed he visited you in the hospital after he'd broken up with you? Since you're obviously too blind to see it on your own, I'll give you this clue for free: In spite of his breakup with you, he still loved you, deeply. He cared about you, even then, even after all the misery you'd put him through. He wanted to see you succeed and worried about you. You paid him back with hatred, betrayal and manipulation. Bravo, you are a shining beacon of everything I hate about humankind. Erin, even the most foul, pathetic creatures on our earth don't act this way. You disgust me.

I know what you thought about Roho and I. I know that you've been doing your best to spread that rumor.

I know that deep down, even though you know now that Kestral is dating Roho, you're going to want to believe the lies you told about Roho and I because you're not adult enough to accept the truth.

I know that you've been spreading other rumors about me, slandering me. Go ahead; I'm a more mature person than you can ever conceive of being, and I can take it. Your opinion means about as much to me as a wad of used chewing gum, and if anyone actually believes the tripe you tell then they deserve whatever misfortune befalls them because of it.

I know you're not good enough for Roho, and as far as I am concerned, you never were. From the start I watched you manipulate him and others. You even manipulated me, for a time.

I know that with one hand you extended an olive branch to Roho, while at the same time you were reaching for your knife with the other hand so you could stab it in his back.

I know, for example, that you used Alicia to try and coax information about Roho's life and relationship status out of me over ICQ on Sunday. Does Alicia willingly let you manipulate her like a puppet on a string, or do you have to guilt-trip her into it? By the way you badmouthed her to me the few times we actually spoke, I'm surprised she tolerates you. She must be very lonely indeed to willingly be your tool in your spiteful little endeavors.

I knew she was plumbing me for information before you even told her to ask me about him. Why do you think I avoided the issue and gave non-answers? You'd already known the truth, because you'd been looking at his LiveJournal. But you had to have your last little dig, didn't you?

There are two rules when I am involved. One, do not lie to me. I will not tolerate a liar. Second, do not use me. Don't even try. I gave up being somebody else's puppet when I realized how Christine had used me, how she'd manipulated me. Roho was there that night, and he will tell you how enraged I was when the final curtain fell and I saw how I'd been played. He knows that I vowed that bullshit will never happen again. You are to Roho what Christine was to me. You are a parasite, a leech who tried to use everyone it ever met.

So even though I was aware of what was going on, you still managed to use me, just a little, Congratulations to you. Rest assured that it will never happen again. Neither you, nor your little tool are welcome in my home now or ever again. I don't want to be anywhere near you, and I've told Twan and everyone else I know that I don't even want you in my town, do you understand? If I see you at a party or a convention, you had better stay away from me. You can rest assured that any stunts you might try will have repercussions. After the little bit of hell I watched you pull with Roho and Poe at last year's MFF I would relish an opportunity to press charges. Please, try me. Just give me the opportunity.

I've listed the things I know. Now it's time for you to know something, Erin. I want you to know this one thing. Write it down, staple it to your forehead, I don't give a flying fuck so long as you memorize this: I don't tolerate being used. Ever. To add insult to injury, you crossed the line and tried to use me so you could hurt my best friend. You've made an enemy out of me, and proven to the rest of the world just what kind of person you really are.

You've made your bed, now lay in it.

Do not fuck with me, or my friends.

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