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A message for Erin... - Paint It Black
Living the American dream one heartbreaking piece at a time
feren
feren
A message for Erin...


I don't know if you're reading my journal or not; frankly, I don't even care. I wouldn't be surprised if you've been lurking around it for the last few days now because I'm a friend of Kestral and Roho. I know something, lady: even if you aren't reading my journal, I know that you've been playing little games and trying to play both sides against the middle. I know that you don't even realize that everyone else here knows what you've been trying to do. That's right, everyone -- even people that aren't actively engaged in the LiveJournal community. It's a pity you don't know how transparent your actions really are, how your patronizing facade is stripped away by the truth and the real motivations of greed, anger and self-importance is laid bare for the entire world to see. If this makes you cry, good. You deserve to be dressed down for the things you've done. Maybe it'll even knock some common sense into you. Roho may be upset by what I'm going to say here, but I'm going to say it anyway. This needs to be said, and I make no apologies for it.

Erin, I know more than you might think. I have, in fact, known things for quite some time.

For example, I know that you've been reading Kes's journal, and even had the audacity to post in it. I wonder how it felt, posting in the journal of the woman you suspected of being your ex-boyfriend's new girl. How did it feel, posting such sweet, flattering words but at the same time thinking such poisonous thoughts? Was it everything you expected? Did it give you a cheap little thrill, and leave you feeling like you'd struck a blow?

I know that you're no lady. Ladies have more self-respect than you, and would never act in such a manner.

I know that you've been reading Roho's journal, and used what he wrote in there to try and build yourself a little platform of righteous wrath to stand upon when you posted in Lanakila's journal. I saw what you wrote. You should be ashamed of yourself, using Lanakila like that to strike out at Roho. You claim to be so sensitive and caring, yet you say things like that, and deliberately say it in a place that you know he'll find it sooner or later. You're a manipulative, scheming two-faced bitch.

I know that you've been harassing my best friend for months now in e-mail and on the phone, making calls to his apartment at all hours of the day and night (I've been there and heard you leaving messages). I know what it's done to him, how the games you've played have hurt him. But that's what you've wanted all along, isn't it? You've wanted to hurt him, to damage him and strike back, to deliver retribution for how you felt you'd been hurt. You wanted to guilt-trip him for having the courage and common sense to leave you after all the abuse you've put him through.

I know you wanted to use every last inch of slack he paid out to you out of his good will. You wanted to suck him completely dry of love until he couldn't ever love again, just so you could know you'd had your revenge. Why do you think he continued to speak with you, to try and be your friend? Why do you supposed he visited you in the hospital after he'd broken up with you? Since you're obviously too blind to see it on your own, I'll give you this clue for free: In spite of his breakup with you, he still loved you, deeply. He cared about you, even then, even after all the misery you'd put him through. He wanted to see you succeed and worried about you. You paid him back with hatred, betrayal and manipulation. Bravo, you are a shining beacon of everything I hate about humankind. Erin, even the most foul, pathetic creatures on our earth don't act this way. You disgust me.

I know what you thought about Roho and I. I know that you've been doing your best to spread that rumor.

I know that deep down, even though you know now that Kestral is dating Roho, you're going to want to believe the lies you told about Roho and I because you're not adult enough to accept the truth.

I know that you've been spreading other rumors about me, slandering me. Go ahead; I'm a more mature person than you can ever conceive of being, and I can take it. Your opinion means about as much to me as a wad of used chewing gum, and if anyone actually believes the tripe you tell then they deserve whatever misfortune befalls them because of it.

I know you're not good enough for Roho, and as far as I am concerned, you never were. From the start I watched you manipulate him and others. You even manipulated me, for a time.

I know that with one hand you extended an olive branch to Roho, while at the same time you were reaching for your knife with the other hand so you could stab it in his back.

I know, for example, that you used Alicia to try and coax information about Roho's life and relationship status out of me over ICQ on Sunday. Does Alicia willingly let you manipulate her like a puppet on a string, or do you have to guilt-trip her into it? By the way you badmouthed her to me the few times we actually spoke, I'm surprised she tolerates you. She must be very lonely indeed to willingly be your tool in your spiteful little endeavors.

I knew she was plumbing me for information before you even told her to ask me about him. Why do you think I avoided the issue and gave non-answers? You'd already known the truth, because you'd been looking at his LiveJournal. But you had to have your last little dig, didn't you?

There are two rules when I am involved. One, do not lie to me. I will not tolerate a liar. Second, do not use me. Don't even try. I gave up being somebody else's puppet when I realized how Christine had used me, how she'd manipulated me. Roho was there that night, and he will tell you how enraged I was when the final curtain fell and I saw how I'd been played. He knows that I vowed that bullshit will never happen again. You are to Roho what Christine was to me. You are a parasite, a leech who tried to use everyone it ever met.

So even though I was aware of what was going on, you still managed to use me, just a little, Congratulations to you. Rest assured that it will never happen again. Neither you, nor your little tool are welcome in my home now or ever again. I don't want to be anywhere near you, and I've told Twan and everyone else I know that I don't even want you in my town, do you understand? If I see you at a party or a convention, you had better stay away from me. You can rest assured that any stunts you might try will have repercussions. After the little bit of hell I watched you pull with Roho and Poe at last year's MFF I would relish an opportunity to press charges. Please, try me. Just give me the opportunity.

I've listed the things I know. Now it's time for you to know something, Erin. I want you to know this one thing. Write it down, staple it to your forehead, I don't give a flying fuck so long as you memorize this: I don't tolerate being used. Ever. To add insult to injury, you crossed the line and tried to use me so you could hurt my best friend. You've made an enemy out of me, and proven to the rest of the world just what kind of person you really are.

You've made your bed, now lay in it.

Do not fuck with me, or my friends.

Current Mood: infuriated infuriated
Current Music: Nightwish - Know Why The Nightingale Sings

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Comments
From: (Anonymous) Date: May 15th, 2002 11:24 pm (UTC) (Link)

A Message from Lady Sakura Lei Kitsune...

I can't tell you how much it hurts for you to call me a tool. I have reached out to in friendship, I asked those questions not because Erin pestered me to, but because I had to know the truth for myself and she needed to know it too. Erin has currently sent what she has assured me and all other parties involved to be the last of her contact.

I don't think it's fair to Kestral to see her love falling apart everytime he gets a phone call or nasty email from a hurt young woman, nor for Erin to keep hurting herself by feeling like a failure for a failed relationship. The behavior is hurting everyone, you, Roho, Kestral, myself and so many others because one of the worst pains is to see the hideous pain in a loved one and not be able to do anything truly constructive about it. I am posting to you, because I was hoping you could still be a friend to me. I am not asking you to marry any part of my life, just be a friend to me. We can help by not attacking each other's friends and helping them resolve a rather nasty conflict by supporting them in the ways they need most. Standing up for our friends is good, however, we need to be responsible adults and quit attacking after a point. Please help our best friends by being my friend and not attacking anyone anymore. We don't have to love the others' best friend, we aren't marrying one another, but we can tolerate them and help resolve the issue by not attacking people. Make peace with me, so Roho and Akako can finally end this stupid issue once and for all.

Extending an olive branch,

Lady Sakura Lei Kitsune
enveri From: enveri Date: May 16th, 2002 06:49 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: A Message from Lady Sakura Lei Kitsune...

I have emailed you, Lei, in response to the comments in my journal.

I just wanted to comment here quickly as well.

If indeed, the message in my inbox is the last we hear from Erin, it will be the last she hears from us.

However, further attacks will be met with like responses. The olive branch and pacifist approach only works as long as both parties agree to it. This has been an ugly situation, and not of our creation. Please understand that we are tired of it, and only want for Erin to go on with her life and leave us, ALL of us, alone.
lanakila From: lanakila Date: May 17th, 2002 08:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
It does make me feel sad to see Erin behave this way towards Roho. I don't know what's gotten into her. :/

I certainly don't take too kindly about people trashing my friends inside of my journal (like the way Erin did in describing Roho, and wanting to see him be crushed by "Kestral" the same way that she felt crushed).

That is so petty, sad and disappointing. I used to look up to Erin as being a mature person, someone who was capable of achieving greatness in her life.

I am so sad to be mistaken.

Erp.

Anyways, I'm just as happy to let this situation rest in peace. I've had the least amount of dealings with Erin in real life and online, as I'm not in Chicago, and seldom am I online FurryMuck.

I am sad and deeply regretful to see so much spite inside of her words. I care about Roho very much, and it's clearly evident that many of his friends care about him too! I feel very proud for the number of people who would stick up for Roho, and defend the sweet, kind and gentle Fox. No one should hurt him at all. Especially not from someone who he previously once loved, and did his very best to be friends with that person.

I'm very sorry to have seen so much upset be written across the journals. I've started to write my journals in "private-friends" only mode, because I'm afraid of being stalked. Not by Erin, but by someone else who spent several hours reading all my online stuff, and then asking me questions about it. :P

I'm very glad Roho has a friend in you, Feren. Very very glad.
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