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Minnesotan Rules - Paint It Black — LiveJournal
Living the American dream one heartbreaking piece at a time
feren
feren
Minnesotan Rules
My father forwarded this to me. It's humorous, and not related to anything in my life except the fact I grew up in that wonderful state, thus it is trimmed so you don't have to read it unless you want a chuckle. Aureth, you should read this just for the rule number 10.



This list of rules will be handed to each person as they enter Minnesota:

1. That slope-shouldered farm boy you are snickering at did
more work before breakfast than you will do all week at the
gym. How'd you like to go home and tell your momma you got
your butt kicked by a big guy in bib overalls?

2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive,
you're going to get dust on your BMW. I have a four wheel
drive because I need it. Now drive or get it out of the way.

3.We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine years
old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.

4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women
will get your butt kicked...by our women.

5. Pull your pants up, and turn your hat around. You look
like an idiot.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are
making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope
you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

7. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order
steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and
pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.

8. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes unsweetened in a glass
with two packets of sugar and a long spoon.

9. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and
served over ice.

10. So you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're real
impressed. We have quarter-million dollar combines that we
use two weeks a year.

11. Let's get this straight. We may have one stoplight in
town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's
yellow.

12. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks-because they want
to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.

13. Yeah, we eat catfish, Northern, walleye and turtle too.
If you really want sushi and caviar, it's available at the
bait shop.

14. They are pigs and cows. That's what they smell like. Get
over it. Don't like it? Interstate 90 & Interstate 94 go two
ways....Interstate 35 goes south......get on one of them.

15. The "Opener" refers to the first days of fishing and deer
season. They are religious holidays. You can get breakfast at
the church.

16. So what if every person in every pick-up waves? It's
called being friendly. Understand the concept?

17. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit into the water
hazards. It spooks the fish.

Current Mood: amused amused
Current Music: The Eagles - The Sad Cafe

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Comments
aureth From: aureth Date: April 14th, 2002 09:19 am (UTC) (Link)

I love it!
jdm314 From: jdm314 Date: April 14th, 2002 12:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
I grew up in Minnesota too, but this mostly does not ring a bell. The problem is that I lived in Minneapolis! I didn't get any sort of idea for what the "outback" was like until the other summer when my girlfriend got a part in a travelling show that mainly performed in Minnesotan towns-- the smaller the better! It is indeed quite a different world from The Big City.

(rule 16 definitely still applies though)

JDM
enveri From: enveri Date: April 15th, 2002 05:33 am (UTC) (Link)
You're right Fer. This applies to every state with a lot of rural farmland.

Makes me nostalgic for home. =)
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