Feren (feren) wrote,

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Strange trends....

My desire to write in the journal comes and goes, rising and ebbing like the tide -- yet for no discernable reason. There's days I want more than anything to write in my journal, I get almost ravenous to write down whatever interesting thought has crossed my mind or record whatever thing has just happened to me, but I often can't because I'm away from the computer or at work or... something. Then, when I do get around to sitting down in front of the keyboard (much to the dismay of my put-upon wrists) the thoughts I've mulled are still there but I lack the drive to put them down into the journal. It's very frustrating to have a thought rattling the cage and screaming like a banshee for release one second only to go into reluctant hiding later when I finally get around to turning the lock on its door and letting it free.

At least I've gotten wise enough to scratch down on a digital notepad (vi, you are my only friend) whatever thought it is that I'm turning around in my brain at the moment so that I can return to it at some later time. The problem with that is that somewhere between the time I take the notes and when I sit down to flesh the notes out into a full blown entry the urgency goes out of me. Without the urgency, that potent need to spill my thoughts onto the virtual paper, the entry tends to lose a lot of gusto and comes up as something of a ghost. These "afterthought" entries almost always pale in comparison to the entries I write when my brain is doing a full Thermite burn. Maybe I'm just lazy or something, I'm not sure.

It echoed in the courtyard, and whispered in the hall

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