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Paint It Black
Living the American dream one heartbreaking piece at a time
I am a smartass [work]
I love the emails that I get at work, sometimes. I love the opportunity to be a smartass in response even more. For example, I just received this...

From: [DBA]
Sent: Wednesday, August 19, 2009 3:23 PM
To: [Project Manager 1]; Feren; [Feren's Boss]
Subject: Pipe sizing for transfers to new delta production

We were under the impression that the pipe going to production will be getting larger soon.

The last time we needed to transfer a large file to production from delta or delta2 we got kicked out repeatedly.

After a very productive day we are on track to start out database builds tonight and tomorrow.

For one of these databases this will require a 50gb file transfer. With the problems occurring last time we want to confirm when the pipe gets bigger so that we can reduce the chances of restart.

So when will the pipe get bigger??


I carefully considered this for a minute, then sent a response:

From: Feren
Sent: Wednesday, August 19, 2009 3:23 PM
To: [DBA]; [Project Manager 1]; Feren; [Feren's Boss]; [Project Manager 2]
Subject: Re: Pipe sizing for transfers to new delta production

When it works out more regularly and drinks protein shakes.

Tags: , , ,
Current Mood: cynical cynical

10 thoughts or Leave a thought
imandunewen From: imandunewen Date: August 19th, 2009 08:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
really, that just makes me want to find you in the universal address book and send you a lol cat. don't know why - it just does. :)
feren From: feren Date: August 19th, 2009 09:11 pm (UTC) (Link)

"I made you a bigger pipe. But I eated it."
yotogi From: yotogi Date: August 20th, 2009 05:07 am (UTC) (Link)
Longpipe is looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong
feren From: feren Date: August 21st, 2009 04:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
It ain't exactly T.S. Eliot
blueadept From: blueadept Date: August 19th, 2009 08:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
I would've gone the Enzyte route and gotten fired for creating a hostile workplace... but that's just me. :(

At least Bob would be happy.
feren From: feren Date: August 19th, 2009 09:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
Somebody did send a reply (it was not me) and they did reference Enzyte.
points From: points Date: August 19th, 2009 09:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
"We've been having it response to every 'get a bigger tool' email it gets to no avail. Oddly enough, we've been finding bigger tools all around campus lately."
rev_ringtail From: rev_ringtail Date: August 19th, 2009 11:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
Today, you are my hero. If only I could get away with that.
From: nemetfox Date: August 20th, 2009 06:41 am (UTC) (Link)
I've got a good grin on here at work now after reading that.
From: schloss_adler Date: August 21st, 2009 02:58 am (UTC) (Link)

If only...


If only additional bandwidth was that easy...

If I wrote an e-mail like that, I'd get slammed for "not being a team player..."


10 thoughts or Leave a thought