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My coworkers sometimes terrify me... - Paint It Black — LiveJournal
Living the American dream one heartbreaking piece at a time
My coworkers sometimes terrify me...
I got this from my coworker, "Marlok," because I made him type it up and mail it over after he told me the story over our traditional cup of morning coffee. Marlok has one child with his wife and, until somebody gets sterilized, doesn't want to risk another kid. He works long hours like I do and several health conditions generally leave him exhausted by the time he gets home. This puts him in a state not unlike that of one Al Bundy, such that intimacy of a sexual nature with his wife is about the last thing he wants to be woken up for after he goes to bed.

SUBJECT: Words to make it end

Words to end all forward pursuit and wreck the mood.
Wife: Sooo, you want to, you know, mess around?

Husband: Sure... why not [Voice dwindling in volume followed by an under-the-breath sigh]

Wife: [Slowly invading Husband's personal space]

Husband: Who Runs Barter Town... Say it!!

Husband: [Slower now with more inflection] Say it!!

Wife: OK, I am done... A vision of an old midget perched atop a retarded Goliath, standing knee high in a pig shit factory is not exactly doing it for me. [Wife visually disturbed and backing away slowly out of Husbands personal space]

Husband: [Falls back asleep with a grin, dreaming. God Bless Mad Maxx]

This is a true story.

Tags: , ,
Current Mood: amused amused

4 thoughts or Leave a thought
blueadept From: blueadept Date: January 16th, 2009 01:49 am (UTC) (Link)
That sounds just like the real-life version of bloodninja.
varro From: varro Date: January 16th, 2009 06:05 am (UTC) (Link)
That's *exactly* what I thought.

"I put on my robe and wizard hat."
(Deleted comment)
posicat From: posicat Date: January 16th, 2009 04:05 am (UTC) (Link)
Wake up for sex? Man that'd be nice :)
captain18 From: captain18 Date: January 16th, 2009 05:56 am (UTC) (Link)
Wow. Am I the only one who rather likes an unexpected nookie wakeup now and then?
4 thoughts or Leave a thought