Feren (feren) wrote,
Feren
feren

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Danger: Unadultered censure within

I'm exceptionally terse right now because I'm rebuilding a failed server that has to be in production in, oh (checks his watch) fourteen and a half hours. Both disks on the system failed. I must now recover the data and find some way to get it back up and running so I can FINISH what I started (the irony here is that I was just about to back the little mother up on the DAT tape when it started to fail).

With all of my whining and stressing about that little inconvenience aside, I would like to take a moment to make a public service announcement:

If I hear one more person say they're afraid of flying and won't get on an airplane for the next six months because "something bad might happen" I swear to whatever powers exist above that I will fucking scream, hit them with a two-by-four, tear off all their clothes and leave them unconscious and naked in Central Park, after midnight, in the most drug-prevalent area I can find with peanut butter smeared all over their genitals in the hope that squirrels will come along and do VERY BAD THINGS to them. People, wake up and smell the Folgers that I'm pouring down your nostrils, okay? This is your official wake-up call from the CluePhone. You are being moronic. What do you have for brains, sawdust and dead cockroaches? Did the brain fairy just realize she made a terminal error and repossess the two brain cells that were rattling around in your head?

Let me spell it out in very short sentences with very small words: Just because a plane crashed this Monday doesn't mean it was another attack by The Terrorists. Planes used to fall from the sky now and then on their own, without any help from people half a globe away. "Oh," you say, "Even if it wasn't terrorists, I just don't think airplanes are safe." HELLO? Guess what, bucko? I got a fuckin' news flash for you, NOTHING IS SAFE. You're afraid of flying now (it might crash! It might get hijacked! Waaah!) so you take Amtrak to get from Omaha to Dallas... and the fucking train might derail and crash and catch on fire. They've done that, you know. So I guess you better drive... oh, wait, what if some drunk driver hits you? Shit, I guess you better walk... oh, but then you could get hit by a falling cinder block from an office building! Breathing the AIR isn't safe because you might inhale asbestos. Drinking the WATER isn't safe because maybe your Brita filter failed and you're sucking down mercury and lead like a drunk with a bottle of Wild Turkey. Plugging in your TV isn't safe because maybe the cord is frayed and you'll get 110v of 15amp goodness shooting up your arm and stopping your heart.

What in the fucking hell is WRONG with you folks?

I can keep going with this shit all night long. Four words, people: get an ever-lovin' GRIP on REALITY, take a DEEP BREATH and try to think a little more deeply than your average housefly. If you really are so terrified of something bad happening to you that you can't even leave your own fucking HOUSE, then the terrorists HAVE WON and you might as well just stick your head in the oven, blow out the pilot, turn the gas all the way up and begin practicing your deep breathing. Do the world a favor and END IT ALL NOW. Being afraid is one thing, these are frightening times. Being paralyzed by irrational fear is another thing completely and only goes to prove your lack of understanding of how the world really works.

BAD THINGS HAPPEN. The death rate has remained steady at 100% since the beginning of fucking TIME, and there is a built-in risk in every single thing you do. Existing is dangerous.

Cry when you cry, run when you run
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