“(background beep) It is now 6:27 PM, and so... 20 minutes have elapsed, I am now at mile marker 122, so.. in 20 minutes, I have gone, uh, 11 miles if I'm doing my math correctly. Right now I'm more worried about my driving than my, uh... my math. But I think that puts it at 20- I, uh, 11 miles, in 20 minutes.
I'm up in Rockford now, what I said was Illinois 39, I was wrong, it's Interstate 39. So I'm up in Rockford, and I'm coming up on the Interstate 39/I-90, uh, interchange. The plows in Rockford seem to be doing a slightly better job, although half the time I can still only tell when I'm getting near the edge of the road by the vibration of the rubble strip up the, up the tires through the chassis of the Expy, which is... more than a little disconcerting.
So... I'm just taking my time, um, you know, it's- it's staying in four-wheel drive, and I'm not, uh, I don't think I've exceeded more than 45 miles an hour, even in the last twenty minutes. And so I'm just, I'm gonna take my time, and hope the snow lets off a little bit more, and, uh, then I'll be able to get some visibility.
If you asked me now, what my top three things I'd like would be, I would tell you:
#3: A snowmobile, because it's waaay more suited to this traffic than what I'm currently driving;
#2: Some fog lights, because I'm just- I got NO visibility, and, ah...
#1: I'd like to know where the road is! That would be really excellent! That would be just really really cool to know where the road is. Ah- heh! (laughing)
And, um, way at the bottom of the list, a CB radio so I could kinda chatter with some of the, the uh, truck drivers that are on the road with us right now, suffering alongside me here. It'd be, uh, good to get their take on things, see if they've heard any weather reports, and uh, just have a friendly ear to talk to.
But that's way at the bottom of the list of priorities, like I said, I'd rather be driving a snowmobile, if I wasn't driving a snowmobile I wish that the Expedition had fog lights, uh... damn the woman who bought this thing that I bought it from, who didn't pay the extra fifty bucks for fog lights, (noticeable background beeping) and uh, number one I'd really like to know where the road is! (beeping) I'd also like to know why my radar detector's beeping, 'cause there ain't a cop stupid enough to be out on the road right now!”