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I can't sleep, and it figures. - Paint It Black
Living the American dream one heartbreaking piece at a time
I can't sleep, and it figures.
As I've implied earlier, the last few weeks have found me running on close to zero energy. I've been exhausted on an almost constant basis. One could blame the holidays and a drastically changed sleep schedule, but I think that may be oversimplifying things a bit. Given how lethargic and "detached" I've been during my waking hours I made it a point to go to bed at a relatively decent hour on Sunday night. Naturally, this plan was thwarted -- I woke up from another almost-nightmare at some time around 2:30 this morning and I've been tossing and turning ever since -- two hours later and counting at this point. I think I've been in and out of bed six or seven times by now, often enough that Ra doesn't even lift his head when I sigh and climb out from under the covers to go wander around the house in an aimless type of pacing. Then I go lay back down for another twenty or twenty-five minutes, toss and turn a bit more, get up and repeat the act. Maybe I'm so frustrated at being awake that I've made it impossible for myself to go back to sleep. Sort of a "watched pot never boils" type of scenario? I dunno. I just know that precious hours of rest are slipping away from me and I'll pay for with interest when I'm at the office in four and a half hours.

Until this morning I had gone something like six months without any real manifestation of my insomnia, so I guess now is as good a time as any for it to make a return. This should make it a real treat to be at work today -- I'll be floating around in that semi-cognizant state that one only achieves on the fine line of sleep deprivation, where it seems like you're drunk but you're actually just sorta sleep-walking. Feren Predicts TM that in an effort to stay awake and aware of my surroundings at work I'll be drinking so much Mt Dew I should invest in Pepsi stock.

I feel like I should put this unscheduled time awake to some sort of good use by reading a book or doing something productive, but I can't seem to think of anything to direct my attention towards at the moment. I also hate the places my mind wanders to during times like this. Racing thoughts, old memories surfacing and it's never anything good.

There's a lo-fi heartache

Current Mood: tired tired
Current Music: Rust Kings - Highway East

9 thoughts or Leave a thought
nekosensei From: nekosensei Date: January 9th, 2006 09:44 am (UTC) (Link)
That's okay. I have a cold and earlier yesterday evening, I was so tired I didn't know what to do with myself and it was too early to go to bed. I ended up watching anime and other stupid videos I saw online untill bedtime. Then, I went to bed and had a hard time falling asleep because of all of the congestion. Not fun...
ottr From: ottr Date: January 9th, 2006 09:51 am (UTC) (Link)
I've been having a return of the insomnia again, so you aren't the only one. I used to do the get-up-and-pace thing to stretch my legs, but I found that that only helps to further wake me up, so now I just huddle up under the covers and wait for the sleep to take over. Not that that helps much either...
From: onceagainplease Date: January 9th, 2006 12:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
Sorry to hear man. I can honestly say that I feel your pain.
Athe the moment insomnia isn't my problem, as it has been in the past. I cant seem to find enough hours in the day lately.
But when I couldn't sleep in the past I found that taking 3mg of melatonin and laying down in front of a tv playing something I am very familiar with really conks me right out. Use something like babylon 5 or any show that you basically know by heart. This usually works with me...
Hope you can find some rest.
yotogi From: yotogi Date: January 9th, 2006 08:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
Tangentially related to this, my dad maintains that leaving the TV on Headline News used to knock him right the fuck out.
shelbystripes From: shelbystripes Date: January 9th, 2006 03:04 pm (UTC) (Link)
Melatonin, 5mg, sublingual. Works for me, maybe it'll help you.

Oh, and try laying off the caffeine in the after-work hours.
captain18 From: captain18 Date: January 9th, 2006 10:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
Diagnosis: A deficiency of fresh B(. )( .)BIES.
Prescription: Mardi Gras in St. Louis.
hightensile From: hightensile Date: January 10th, 2006 01:20 am (UTC) (Link)
I <3 that icon.
hightensile From: hightensile Date: January 10th, 2006 01:21 am (UTC) (Link)
I got prescribed a sleeping pill after my little incident with the SUV. Now our medical issues are very different I will grant you, but the occasional pharmeceudical aid can be useful in the extreme.

No, Bombay Sapphire does not count.

feren From: feren Date: January 10th, 2006 01:30 am (UTC) (Link)
[the occasional pharmeceudical aid can be useful ... No, Bombay Sapphire does not count.]

9 thoughts or Leave a thought