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My beer-loving friends may get a kick out of this... - Paint It Black
Living the American dream one heartbreaking piece at a time
feren
feren
My beer-loving friends may get a kick out of this...
Now, ya'll know I love my MGD for the cheap, easily accessed booze that it is. You also know I'll never defend it or call it a "great" beer. That isn't to say that it's not worthy of respect, however! The fact that year after year, hundreds of thousands of cases after hundreds of thousands of cases are put out by the folks at Miller, and every single one of those beers tastes the exact same as all its brothers. That says to me that they've got their ingredients, their processes and their timing down pat. I think that's worthy of a little respect, you know?

Now, with that being said...

According to this article, a case was recently dismissed against a man who was accused of buying a case of beer for an underage neighbor. The judge dismissed it on grounds of insufficient evidence. The reason given? According to the order, the prosecutors failed to prove Miller Genuine Draft is indeed beer. The funny part is, I'm not particularly inclined to argue with the judge on this one. I do feel sorry for the DA, though. Wow. I mean, think about it. Here you are, arguing what should be an open-and-shut case. You've got the minor on the witness stand, openly admitting in sworn testimony that he drank five cans out of the case. After all that, how would you like to be told, "I'm sorry, Mister DA. You've failed to prove that this well-known brand of beer is actually beer, so there is no proof there was an actual crime committed here. Case dismissed." Ouch.

In other news, it's yet another overnight shift for me. Tonight we're cutting over the Columbus, OH campus. Things are going surprisingly well with this particular site. I'm not sure why that is, and I'm not going to question it. I'm going with the flow and being very careful to make no predictions that might jinx it, because having a hot-cut that goes smoothly would be a very nice thing right about now. I'd like to go to sleep before the sun comes up at least once this week.

The world on a string doesn't mean a thing

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Comments
duncandahusky From: duncandahusky Date: August 11th, 2005 08:07 am (UTC) (Link)
Huh. From the article, it seems that the whole thing stems from a lapse in procedure - one which seems kind of stupid anyway. The prosecutors did not present the judge with a list of beverages considered to be beer. Just because Miller marketing is ubiquitous...sheesh.
brianblackberry From: brianblackberry Date: August 11th, 2005 09:20 am (UTC) (Link)
Sounds more like a testamony to the pathetic state our justice system is in do to judges who are driven by dubious motivations.
fiskblack From: fiskblack Date: August 11th, 2005 09:28 am (UTC) (Link)
That story almost doesn't sound credible. Any competent prosecutor would just need to argue that it was alcohol, not necessarily beer, right?
feren From: feren Date: August 11th, 2005 03:52 pm (UTC) (Link)

Yes, but they didn't.

From the article:

[Defense attorney] Eshelman said the law requires prosecutors to prove the beer contained at least 5 percent alcohol.

“No testimony or evidence on records proved that Miller Genuine Draft contained 5 percent alcohol,” Eshelman said.
roho From: roho Date: August 11th, 2005 10:46 am (UTC) (Link)
That's one of the reasons I like the Homebrew forums I finally settled on. The general consensus there (which I agree with) is that Bud/Miller/Coors (or BMC, since everything on the Interweb must be condensed) are to be admired, rather than scoffed at. It's not that their brewmasters don't *know* how to make a beer that'll appeal to the beer afficionados; it's that they've found the right combination of product consistency and marketability to make a highly successful beer. That can't be easy, when most homebrewers can't even get small batches to taste the same way twice! ;)
From: neowolf2 Date: August 13th, 2005 02:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
MGD -- the ISO-900x of beers!
varro From: varro Date: August 11th, 2005 11:36 am (UTC) (Link)

What's even better...

....is this.

Eshelman said the law requires prosecutors to prove the beer contained at least 5 percent alcohol.

Good....so does that mean that you can buy kids common Pennsylvania beers like Iron City, Yuengling, or practically any light beer? They all have less than 5.0% alcohol, according to realbeer.com ....
varro From: varro Date: August 11th, 2005 11:37 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: What's even better...

I think they meant 0.5% alcohol, not 5%.
feren From: feren Date: August 11th, 2005 03:54 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: What's even better...

It could be served in schools as a "barley pop," yet another beverage alternative to milk for the kids.
roho From: roho Date: August 11th, 2005 04:02 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: What's even better...

Long as they offer a cream porter/stout or something, they can get rid of the rest of the menu! You've got:
Barley (grain)
Hops (vegetables)
Yeast (meat -- Okay, I'm stretching a bit on this one :P)
Cream (dairy)

Yay!
tuftears From: tuftears Date: August 11th, 2005 03:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
*boggles*
nekosensei From: nekosensei Date: August 11th, 2005 05:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
Wow. I mean, think about it. Here you are, arguing what should be an open-and-shut case. You've got the minor on the witness stand, openly admitting in sworn testimony that he drank five cans out of the case. After all that, how would you like to be told, "I'm sorry, Mister DA. You've failed to prove that this well-known brand of beer is actually beer, so there is no proof there was an actual crime committed here. Case dismissed." Ouch.

Ah...our legal system in action...

Come on! Isn't it *obvious* that it's MGD is beer? I'm sorry, that takes a special kind of stupid to not convict on that case...
frostyw From: frostyw Date: August 12th, 2005 07:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
Found this on Boners.com:

http://www.boners.com/grub/791505.html
"The liver is evil and must be punished."
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