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Huh... - Paint It Black
Living the American dream one heartbreaking piece at a time
... radio.

So yeah, today gen is another year older. Oddly enough this means I also am another year older. Some folk might attribute that coincidence to the fact we share a birthday (the day, not the year), but I'm not so certain. Let's just say I think there's a deeper conspiracy in motion here.

I really hate my office sometimes. Usually I hate it for some good reason or another (overworking employees, denying vacation, poor leadership, etc), but today I hate it for something that's petty and trivial in the scheme of things. Today my employer is the recipient of my righteous ire because our HR department publishes a weekly e-letter that contains anniversaries and birthdays along with the usual company prattle that we're expected to read. I celebrated my five year anniversary with DeVry back in 2002, so they will leave me alone until sometime in 2007 when I hit my ten year mark -- that's good. Human Resources inherently has access to our birthdates and seems to thrive off publishing this information to the company as a whole -- that's bad. You read that right: if you have a birthday this week, the entire corporate office is going to know about it. Thanks a lot, guys and gals.

Not only does this get circulated via our weekly newsletter, the IT/Systems department administrative assistants also seem to get off on collecting this information from HR in advance and creating a poster every four weeks that lists the names and dates of that month's birthdays. It wouldn't be such a big deal if they didn't print out ten trillion copies of it and plaster them to every vertical surface in our suite. I can't leave the floor or go to the coffee machine for a cup of joe without being confronted with the names of everyone who has had or will have a birthday this month.

For added humor value Donna highlights the names of any IT/Systems staff that may be on the list.

Thanks to the dual ass-beating I'm taking at the hands of these folks my birthdate is now common knowledge to the entire department as well as my team. I wouldn't mind this too much, but there's a dire consequence to be faced: now that they know today is my birthday several of my coworkers have made vague noises about taking me out for lunch today to "celebrate." I'm not overjoyed at this prospect by any means. Usually going out for birthday lunch means going to Hooters or someplace equally "fun," suffering the company of individuals I really don't care to be around and having to be humiliated by the waitstaff. If I'm going to be embarassed by somebody, I want it to be like last year, where I'm at the mercy of people who know me and who are invested with a sense of style.

Extortion and arson, petty larceny

Current Mood: must be the birthday
Current Music: R.E.M. -- King of Comedy

16 thoughts or Leave a thought
sleepingzebras From: sleepingzebras Date: August 13th, 2004 02:18 am (UTC) (Link)
'Happy' birthday! :{
ashmcairo From: ashmcairo Date: August 13th, 2004 02:53 am (UTC) (Link)
It's your birthday and it's Friday the 13th.

Boy are you so ever fucked.
spoothbrush From: spoothbrush Date: August 13th, 2004 03:32 am (UTC) (Link)
I was going to say... this would be a great time for the Feren of Absolute Evil to surface.

As opposed to the Feren of Mostly Evil that's usually around, I guess.
captain18 From: captain18 Date: August 13th, 2004 04:38 am (UTC) (Link)
And also apposed to Feren of Absolut Evil.
feren From: feren Date: August 13th, 2004 08:47 am (UTC) (Link)


rustitobuck From: rustitobuck Date: August 13th, 2004 02:54 am (UTC) (Link)
Happy Birthday, Feren.

Dunno what to say, usually I just bring my own cupcakes.
points From: points Date: August 13th, 2004 03:31 am (UTC) (Link)
Humiliated at a restaurant.. hrm. You should go out with me more often. ;)
From: ex_miang438 Date: August 13th, 2004 03:34 am (UTC) (Link)
Happy birthday, yo!

I think you should subscribe to my "your birthday = you can do no wrong" philosophy and, I don't know, set your co-workers on fire or something.
neuracnu From: neuracnu Date: August 13th, 2004 04:44 am (UTC) (Link)

Happy birthday!

Birthdays are common knowledge around here. The baby brigade sends out monthly updates about who to harass.

That's one of the most interesting things about working here. We're almost entirely populated by bitter IT folks who loath the monthly office birthday celebration and its giant sheet cake from Sam's. These are big guys, too - an event has to be pretty dreadful to not enjoy such a fine thing as cake.

But happy birthday anyway!
captain18 From: captain18 Date: August 13th, 2004 04:47 am (UTC) (Link)
In High Toll, we have a TV monitor hanging on the wall for each spine. Half of them are tuned to Headline News. The other half are tuned to the company propaganda channel. Said channel rotates slides including promotions for banks and other local companies who have made evil deals with the company in exchange for captive advertising. Interspersed are slides for each recent award winner (my QASAR slide seems to show up disproportionately often), and, yes, birthdays. And they run for a month like that, roughly once every two minutes. So I know of what you speak.

Just the same, Happy Birthday, Feej.
From: almanzo Date: August 13th, 2004 05:26 am (UTC) (Link)
"Celebrated" five years? I find this dubious.

Personally, I never minded having my birthday published in like the company newsletter. I guess I haven't gotten quite that misanthropic about it yet. :)
tuftears From: tuftears Date: August 13th, 2004 07:31 am (UTC) (Link)
Hey, Happy Birthday! And there's always claiming you already have a birthday lunch gig, and then taking off for a couple hours.
nekosensei From: nekosensei Date: August 13th, 2004 09:01 am (UTC) (Link)
Hey...I didn't know it was your birthday!
Happy Birthday!

Tee hee!
From: sailemur Date: August 13th, 2004 11:25 am (UTC) (Link)
A good birthday to you. I hope the rest of it goes better than your work day.

I'm sorry the triteness had to be rubbed onto you by the coworker conspiracy... I generally try to keep a low profile about that sort of thing to avoid just such an issue. :/
urocyon From: urocyon Date: August 13th, 2004 02:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ah shaddap and quitcher griping, toddler.
arphalia From: arphalia Date: August 14th, 2004 02:25 am (UTC) (Link)
Argh! Go figure I miss this post and find out a day late when your birthday was. *hugs* Well, happy anniversary of your second day of living then! *huffs*

16 thoughts or Leave a thought