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WTF? - Paint It Black
Living the American dream one heartbreaking piece at a time
I had to leave Trillian connected when I disappeared to the North today because I was uploading a file to somebody and didn't want it to abort. To discourage people from messaging me while I wasn't actually at my desk I set an away message that said "Gone to BD's for tasty mongolian stirfry." When I came home Trillian had received a set of messages and thoughtfully boxed them for me so that I would notice them right away... and notice them I did, these were too surreal not to stare at. The following is what was waiting for me when I brought my monitor out of power savings mode:

goodnewsimhornie29: hi... anyone there??
*** Auto-response sent to goodnewsimhornie29: Off to BDs Mongolian Barbeque. Tasty stirfry awaits!
goodnewsimhornie29: oh your there :)) hi...
goodnewsimhornie29: a/s/l (age sex location)?
goodnewsimhornie29: im 27/f/USA. waas lookin at your profile. thought you might like to chat.
goodnewsimhornie29: so what havve you been up to ferenpanther?

I looked at it, shook my head and just dismissed the window -- clearly this person failed the IQ test when they saw my auto-responding away message and decided that meant I was actually there. While it was tempting to try to prank this person by saying "Sure, you pretend to be Patrick Swayze and I'll play Tony Soprano. We can have hot man on man love action for the rest of the night, so long as you don't mind me bringing a sheep into our bed," I just wasn't feeling up to the effort of being that creative. As soon as I removed the global away I received another set of messages, indicating just how hard up this person must be for entertainment:

goodnewsimhornie29: cool. i was just hangin out watching tv. i was getting kinda horny :) (*blushes)
goodnewsimhornie29: feel likee a little cyber fun with me ? please please...

Wow. Again I'm handed a perfect opportunity, this time on a silver platter with fine garnishings for added color and visual appeal... and again I have to decide against pursuing it because I just don't have the energy to put into stringing this person along for three hours. If this had been two years ago I could have had this whack-job tearing their phone line out of the wall in a fit of perfect terror before they curled up in a fetal position and cried for mama. What the hell is wrong with me? I would never have passed this up!

I must be getting old.

For ten long years I paid for what I done

Current Mood: crazy crazy
Current Music: Johnny Cash - Hurt

8 thoughts or Leave a thought
(Deleted comment)
feren From: feren Date: March 22nd, 2004 01:17 am (UTC) (Link)
I think you missed the point. The whole idea of the post wasn't "Wow, I've never turned down cyber before." The point of this was "Wow, what a golden opportunity. This person is utterly transparent and probably not even real. Here's an opportunity to mindfuck somebody by being as weird and unsettling as possible... but I don't feel like doing it because it'll take to long to be worthwhile."

See again the part about the idea of asking them to roleplay a scene with Patrick Swatze, Tony Soprano and a sheep...
tuftears From: tuftears Date: March 22nd, 2004 04:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
It was just a spambot, friend. No point freaking out a robot!
feren From: feren Date: March 22nd, 2004 05:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
neuracnu From: neuracnu Date: March 21st, 2004 06:33 pm (UTC) (Link)

Not old, just less horny.

feren From: feren Date: March 22nd, 2004 01:19 am (UTC) (Link)

oe Generic Viarga. Absulutely NEW! ysprbl

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urocyon From: urocyon Date: March 21st, 2004 10:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
feren From: feren Date: March 22nd, 2004 01:19 am (UTC) (Link)
You sexy beast, you.
mindslide From: mindslide Date: March 21st, 2004 11:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
Right back at ya.
8 thoughts or Leave a thought