So yesterday I get a ticket from our Helpdesk, another one that just makes me wonder how dumb people in the world are. The problem description was "Rolando would like to know if server with IP xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx can be accessed from the outside." I look at this ticket for a moment, shake my head, and then ping the IP. I get a response, so I close the ticket with the problem resolution code set to "User Training" and the resolution description as "I can ping the machine via the Internet." I send the ticket out thinking "Well, that should satisfy them ... or at least teach them to write specifics into their tickets."

Boy, was I ever wrong; I come in this morning to find this email:

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From: HELP DESK
To: Olsen, Jason
Subject: Ticket #26301

Jason,

Ticket #26301 has been re-opened. User states problem remains.

Thanks,
Help Desk.
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Okay, so I think the user has revised the ticket to tell me what the hell it is they're blithering about. I go into the Help Desk application and call up that ticket number, and give it a quick re-read Nope, the problem is still exactly the same, Rolando still wants to know if that server is accessable from the outside. But the reopening e-mail tells me quite clearly the problem remains.

Now I'm annoyed. The problem remains?

What goddamn fucking problem?

So, I decided I'm not going to waste my time calling this user for clarification (if he couldn't even work a simple web form to open a ticket properly, I seriously doubted he'll be able to articulate the true nature of his issue to me over the phone. I found out two minuntes ago that one of my coworkers had spoken to this guy, and his opinion was that you'd get better conversation from a Chia Pet). Since I'm not going to waste time and further frustrate myself, I do the standard Corporate America maneuver: I fire this back to the help desk and shove it off on them:

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From: Olsen, Jason
To: Help Desk
Subject: RE: Ticket #26301

They haven't described in the ticket what the problem is. "Rolando would like to know if 209.208.244.101 can be accessed from the outside." is not a problem description, it's a question. I answered that question when I closed the ticket with the resolution that "yes, I can ping it from the Internet," therefore it is accessable from the outside.

As far as I am concerned this isn't a trouble ticket until he can open it with a description of an actual problem, such as "Users are reporting problems accessing the server 209.208.244.101 via telnet."

-Jason
----Oringal Message----
From: HELP DESK
To: Olsen, Jason
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2001 08:07
Subject: #26301

Jason,

Ticket #23601 has been re-opened. User states problem remains.

Thanks,

Help Desk


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I never knew that our staff was primarily Special Olympics runners we hired off the street for two bags of french fries and a glitter sticker.

Current Mood: amused