Feren (feren) wrote,

  • Mood:
  • Music:
There's a song by Blue Oyster Cult called Goin' Through the Motions, and it feels particularly apt here.

And we're going through the motions
Yeah, we're going through the motions
Yeah, we're going through the motions
Going through the motions

That's pretty much what I'm doing at this point. I'm going through the motions, playing it off as if everything is under my control as fate carries me where it will. Forces I only barely understand are slowly turning like immense cogs, rusty machinery grinding into life around me even as I write this. In a way it's awe-inspiring and in other ways absolutely terrifying. What sort of golem have I summoned into being, and do I dare try to tame it? I draw some small comfort from the advice my father gave to me, and it's advice that I think served him well when he was in Vietnam and drawing fire. It's an old axiom that's doubtless been around far longer than I can imagine, but that age serves to give it weight -- if there wasn't an innate truth to it I believe the phrase would have expired long ago.

Pray for the best.
Plan for the worst.

Thank you, Dad. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. If I'm lucky I'll have many more years to learn from you. I wish I had started learning sooner rather than later, but I guess it's only after the son has made his own mistakes that he can come to appreciate the knowledge of the father.

Love was the winner there
Tags: family, music, thoughtful

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