Feren (feren) wrote,

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Has nobody in this state ever heard of two-ply?! I mean, it is odd enough to me (the Great Midwesterner) that it is illegal for me to pump my own gas. I am sure that to spoothbrush it is the most natural thing in the world, but to me it portrays a distinct lack of faith in my competency on the state of New Jersey's part. I mean... What a bizarre dual standard. They trust me enough to drive a car but clearly I lack the discipline necessary to fill the thing with petroleum. That honor can only be held by a highly trained and disciplined individual such as a teenager, it would seem.

But I digress. Ever since I landed in PHL on Thursday night I have been plagued by cheap, thin, sandy strips of nearly-paper that is being passed off as "toilet paper" everywhere I go. I am the first person to admit that I am not Al Bundy of "Married With Children" fame, so I am not what you might call a conisseur of all things bathroom related. But I do know that if I use a facility somewhere I should not be able to turn over the strip of toilet paper and see "3M 20 grit fine sandpaper" written on the back of it! Are New Jersey residents that hard core?

Maybe I should be giving three-ply quilted Charmin as a wedding gift instead of the present I did find. Introduce this place to the finer things in life, like not abrading one's rump with a cheese grater thinly disguised as toilet paper....

Speaking of the bride and groom's big event, it is now T minus three hours and twenty-one minutes until I and the other groomsmen are expected to be at the church. Yesterday's rehearsal gave me a vague idea of what's going on, and I at least know which of the bridesmaids I am paired with. Outside of that a great deal of this still seems like a mystery to me.. I guess I can do little more at this point then hold my breath and enjoy the ride.

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