I need to learn to let go and stop meddling, to stop trying to steer things when I see it's not going the way I think it should. I have this very same problem at the office -- when I see a project going awry, or bad decisions being made, I get very frustrated and step in to try and "own" the project or "influence" the decision because I feel I know best. Sometimes I'm right and the wrong decision is being made, but I shouldn't try to correct it so forcibly. I should learn a gentler approach, to try and guide things onto what I perceive to be the correct path and if it doesn't go that way on its own I should step back and tell myself "so be it." I bet I could do wonders for my stress levels and blood pressure by following this advice, and it's advice I've been given a few times before by other people and something I know to be the truth. No matter how good the advice is, though, I just can't seem to let go because I have a drive to see things done the way I perceive to be the right way. Frustrating, and in some cases (as above) potentially dangerous to me and others.
Maybe I didn't ruin the friendship; maybe cooler heads will prevail or we'll work to put it behind us and continue to be friends. I'd like to think that our bond is made of something that's strong enough to withstand this, but the pessimist in me says that I dealt this a pretty heavy blow. So yeah, I would like it if we did make up and move on, but... the pessimist in me says be prepared to reap what I've sown tonight, and if I don't hear the words "go pound sand up your ass" the next time I see them I'll be rather surprised.
I don't think I'll detail any further than that right now.
Tomorrow, if I can get a lull at work, I'll write about the past five days. There have been some interesting things going on in my life this last week or so. I won't say they're earth-shattering by any means, but they're certainly not the same old thing either, so deserve to be written about. I don't think I'll back-date it since there's really no use in my doing so at this point.
Hopefully more tomorrow.
I believe it's time for me to fly