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Introspection.... - Paint It Black
Living the American dream one heartbreaking piece at a time
feren
feren
Introspection....
This has been sitting in the back of my mind for a few days, and I haven't really been able to think of a good way to express it. However, this morning when I sat down at my desk and turned on Winamp I was given just the right nudge to be able to work it all out. Behold the power of music, friends and neighbors. The first song that started playing was a tune that I'm very familiar with but haven't thought of in quite some time. In that songs lyrics I found just the sentiment I've been trying to express, the same set of emotions that I've been feeling.

You see, on Sunday afternoon I got a call from one of my old friends, Don. I may have written about him before, I really can't remember. I don't think I've spoken to him in months, and I know I haven't seen him in well over a year. I'm very bad about keeping in touch with people, even when they were close friends to whom I owe a debt of thanks. After I got off the phone with Don I started to think about the other people I used to hang out with, who along with the Illinois Pack made up pretty much my whole world when it came to friends. I started to think about how I'd lost touch with Heather, with Kelly and with so many others, and I realized how deeply I regret letting those connections slip and fade away. To some extent the same scenario is looming on the horizon, with the upcoming move of captain18. I'm going to make sure that I don't make the same mistake twice, and I'm going to work on rectifying the first instance of the mistake.



Neil Young - ONE OF THESE DAYS
From the album "Harvest Moon"


One of these days,
I'm gonna sit down and write a long letter
To all the good friends I've known
And I'm gonna try
And thank them all for the good times together.
Though so apart we've grown.

One of these days,
I'm gonna sit down and write a long letter
To all the good friends I've known
One of these days, one of these days, one of these days,
And it won't be long, it won't be long.

And I'm gonna thank,
That old country fiddler
And all those rough boys
Who play that rock 'n' roll
I never tried to burn any bridges
Though I know I let some good things go.

One of these days,
I'm gonna sit down and write a long letter
To all the good friends I've known
One of these days, one of these days, one of these days,
And it won't be long, it won't be long.

From down in L.A.
All the way to Nashville,
From New York City
To my Canadian prairie home
My friends are scattered
Like leaves from an old maple.
Some are weak, some are strong.

One of these days,
I'm gonna sit down and write a long letter
To all the good friends I've known
One of these days, one of these days, one of these days,
And it won't be long, it won't be long.

One of these days, one of these days, one of these days,
And it won't be long, it won't be long.



In a way, these lyrics are the story of my life. I am, deep down, a procrastinator. I've realized just how badly that screws up my life and my plans, so as time has gone on I've tried to guard against it. I try to identify when I'm putting things off for no good reason, and then act upon it. Occasionally I overcorrect for myself and get really aggressive with trying to get things done, rushing it when there's no need to and probably annoying people in the process, but at least that doesn't happen very often. I guess the other reason this song struck such a resonance with me is because, above all else, it's a call to change...

Current Mood: thoughtful thoughtful
Current Music: Feren's Streaming Music Collection

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Comments
varro From: varro Date: October 22nd, 2002 05:57 am (UTC) (Link)

Talking about procrastination on LJ....how ironic!

I appreciate the irony of talking about procrastination in a LJ entry. :)

For me, it's the fear of the consequences that might be driving me to procrastinate; I fear the worst rejection of my work, whether it is another lawyer yelling at me, or a bad grade on a paper or exam. I think that by putting off the work, I put off the consequences, which is faulty thinking, but I haven't been able to throw it.

That being said....time to get back to work! :)
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